Breathless & Broken

Her heart was broken and shattered.  

Too many pieces to count as she stood in the moonlight waiting for answers to flood through her soul.  

To understand the pain that coursed through her.  

To make sense of the chaos that swirled in and out of her life.  

The moon rose and fell with answers that offered no fulfillment.  

Her dreams of understanding, of knowing became a bleak reality.  

An unknown state of existence. 

She didn't understand how she could be brought into a world filled with plastic ideology and a cloudy lens of seeing.  

Brought up in ignorance and money.  

A visualization of being high up, the upper class.  

To be better than those before her.  

To fall in love with status and money before seeing into the heart of things.  

To be on a pedestal to be viewed for the world to see and enjoy.  

To be prized.  

To be possessed.  

She wasn't precious to anyone.  

She wasn't cherished by many.  

She was born into existence, raised with expectation, and bridled with obedience.  

She wasn't allowed to escape.  

The thumb she was under was too strong to break.  

Her walls were too tough to destroy.  

The walls that surrounded her were small and indifferent.  

It kept her hidden.  

Her jewels were dusty.  

Her shine dimmed.  

Her reasons silenced.  

She waits with bated breath for a moment in life when she can breathe fully, again.  

-Riane Ashley Cardenas

Published in Flows: A Queer Poetry Journal